you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize