this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
