So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
