I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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