Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
