taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
