If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
