Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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