lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
