so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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