he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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