WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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