Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
