It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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