Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
