is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty