I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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