and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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