I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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