butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
