OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
