sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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