I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are we still banned from the library?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
