is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So gin and wine won't be happening again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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