Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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