apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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