Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize