I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
