i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
