OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize