Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize