There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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