You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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