so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
