Sponge bath it is.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
