she was so not down for the gang bang
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
