"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
