East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
