The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize