And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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