He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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