Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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