Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
