Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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