I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
