just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I deserve this hangover.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
