Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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