OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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