3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
