Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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