Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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