so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
