The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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