Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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