you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
