grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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